Embarrassing 'Uncle Bob'....adventures in gig-land....Part 2

That moment when you step onstage can be so very important, it can easily influence what happens to your entire performance.  

Let me paint a picture for you, of my surroundings and audience. It is 10:30 PM and the bar where the birthday party is being held is dark and very smokey, the whole city is having a blackout and the electricity has been off for hours. The temperature outside is hovering somewhere around 18 degrees Fahrenheit, clumps of ice and snow everywhere, the cold is slowly beginning to permeate the inside of the bar as well, which of course makes everyone smoke more to help warm up. Lit candles are on all the tables and the wink of burning embers from cigarettes are glowing all around the room. My audience is an eclectic group of friends and family, some in jeans and cowboy boots, some in biker leathers with shaggy beards and tattoos, some dressed up a bit more. You can hear the chink of glasses and beer bottles and the murmur of raspy voices. The people in the bar have all bravely sat around for hours in the cold and dark waiting for me to arrive (unbeknownst to the birthday boy, who when the blackout started urged everyone to go home).

So it was time for me to perform....there I was, my music is playing, the audience is clapping and cheering, I sail toward the dance floor with my veil floating behind me and......What!?... Candles....on the dance floor (there is a first for me)...my skirts would surely brush across them and catch on fire....and the birthday boy is sitting in a chair, smack dab in the middle of MY stage! Oh crap what to do, what to do........

So what did I do? I danced right past the dance floor and into the audience. I danced my entire veil routine in the 4 foot wide and 15 foot long space between the dance floor and the tables, thankfully I always perform improv at my gigs, so I didn't have to worry about forgetting my choreography. I spent at least half of the time with my back to the tables so the birthday boy could enjoy the performance, but I didn't get up onto the slightly raised stage. Also, I'd like to mention again, all the tables had open candles flames on them too, a serious fire hazard with a veil floating around in the air. Just to make things more interesting (another for my list of gig firsts) there were two burly bikers standing on chairs at either end of the dance stage with giant flashlights in their hands, shining the lights over my head like spotlights...lol....very ingenious I must say!

I finished my veil dance with a flair, then instead of tossing my veil to an audience member like I usually do, I decided to give them all a laugh and the birthday boy a blush. As my next song, a Chiftitelli, began....I gathered my veil up and danced onto the raised floor and wrapped my veil around his head like a turban. 

Yes I know, kinda tacky, but I had to do something about him being in the middle of the floor and didn't want to treat him like he had the plague! I also know my veil was going to be in need of a washing when I got home, but actually, everything was, because my costume had to be completely saturated in cigarette smoke within 5 minutes of walking into the place.

My veil taken care of, my next order of business was to deal with the candles...so I danced over and picked them up and performed a slow candle dance (instead of the planned sword dance, to my Chifti). As my music drew to the end of the song, I brought my candles out into the audience and placed them on a table out of harms way. Now I had two more songs left...a fast Beledi with Zils and a drum solo, so I started my Beledi and urged the birthday boy to stand up and dance with me and as we danced I drew him out toward the audience and his wife (and got him a seat). I finished my Beledi on stage (alone...yay) and then ended the whole performance with a drum solo...mostly on stage and some in amongst the crowd.

I think all in all I handled things quite well, everyone loved the show and I didn't catch fire. We had a quick round of pictures, lots of compliments and questions about lessons (woohoo) and several individuals from the audience slipped tips into my hand (another woohoo). The birthday boys wife didn't want me to walk out into the dark alone (they didn't know my hubby was outside waiting for me) so she assigned one of my spotlight fellas to accompany me out to my car, whom evidently had already planned on doing so anyway. (It wasn't safe for such a pretty young lady to be walking around alone this late at night). He was a big tough looking guy, with a long grisly 'ZZ Top' style beard, wearing jeans, big black biker boots and a leather vest....I think his name was 'Tiny'....and what a gentleman he was, he held my elbow as we crossed the parking lot so I wouldn't slip in the ice patches and made sure I was in the my vehicle and that it started before he went back inside.

I am so glad I took the gig! I was treated with respect, paid my full price (no questions asked) as well as given a hefty tip (plus all the extra tips from the audience) and had a fun and interesting experience to remember, that will always bring a giggle to my lips and a twinkle to my eye....and Tiny if you ever read this....thanks so much for your kindness and care. Gentlemen like you are rare nowadays, you are a true treasure.

As for all you ladies out there who are interested in gigging, remember to never judge a book by its cover. I have found that the average, working class clients I get are always the best. They respect what I do and know I too need to make a living. They never try to nickle and dime me and talk my rates down and always tip me afterward. Granted we sometimes have misunderstandings (culturally) about what a Belly Dancer does, but once they see a performance they understand. They see the artistry, the elegance and the sensuality and love it for what it is!

Embarrassing 'Uncle Bob'....adventures in gig-land......Part 1

Okay, 'Uncle Bob' isn't a real person...well he is actually many real people, but they are not all named Bob. Uncle Bob is that poor schmuck whose wife or brother or some other 'dear' friend or relative, thinks it would be a great joke (all in good fun) to hire a dancer to writhe and gyrate around Uncle Bob at his birthday party. All for kicks and giggles of course. You Belly Dancers out there who have been hired for Birthday Gigs know what I am referring to. For those who just love Belly Dance, or aspire to become a professional dancer....here is an interesting look into what the future can hold for you.

Let me paint a picture for you, in all it's scandalous details and hilarious memories. :)

For those of you who do not know me, I live in Kentucky, in the Heart of the Bluegrass region. Horse Farms, Cowboys and Rednecks abound.  The countryside is beautiful and wild and our Bourbon Distilleries are honored with pride.

I received a phone call for a last minute gig.  This ladies husband was turning 40 and they wanted me to dance at his party. (First thought in my lil' head was, uh ohhhh) The Kentucky twang was coming through loud and clear over my cell phone. I asked my usual list of questions, the lady was really very nice and polite. 


One of the things I sometime hear from prospective birthday party clients is, "We wanted to hire a stripper, BUT there are gonna be kids there, so we decided to hire you." I try really hard to not lecture people on exactly what I do, and how it is NOT sexual and that comparing ME to a cleaner version of a Stripper is actual quite insulting....but I do try to get the message across.

Well, happily I did NOT get the stripper comparison, of course, there weren't going to be any kids at this party, because it was being held at a bar. Yep, a bar. I did seriously consider not taking the gig. The thing is, the bar owner was the birthday boys brother, and the bar was actually going to be closed to the GP for the party. I was told it was just their close friends and mixed genders. Again, I repeat, the client was sweet and polite, and concerned about whether or not I would be comfortable dancing at a bar. I explained how I dance at Restaurant/Bars and Hookah Lounges and that I would be fine as long as everyone was respectful. She assured me we would have no problems.


So at this point you are probably thinking...oh no, don't do it! Not to worry, really, everyone was real polite and everything went pretty darn smoothly....considering.

The night of the party arrives, I decide since it is only a 12 minute drive from my house, and only a 15 minute gig, that I shall bring my husband with as bodyguard muscle (since it IS at a bar after all...lol) We leave out from the house and head to our destination...this is when the true fun begins. As we are approaching the address we notice there are no lights on any where, no street lights, no stop lights, and there are cars all over the place driving around. I call the client to see if everything is okay, it ends up the entire City of Frankfort was having a blackout. Luckily I had my portable CD player with and they still wanted me to come dance.

The bar was in darkness, filled wall to wall with all these people (who knew I was coming and even though they had been without electricity for hours, stayed to wait) candles sat on all the tables, a cloud of cigarette smoke floated through the air. Everyone shouted with enthusiasm and delight that the entertainment had finally arrived. My audience was a motley crew of Bikers and laborers (and their wives...phew).

I found that I couldn't go into the ladies room to take off my cover up. I seriously dislike uncovering my costume where the audience can see. My client graciously took me to a dark little nook at the back of the bar to help me. My music was ready, a gentleman with a ZZ Top beard and leather vest waited patiently to press play, and I was ready to go. The music starts to play and I gracefully make my way to the designated dance floor. Well guess what? They had, sneakily might I add, put a chair out in the middle of the dance floor and seated the birthday boy on it. They also thought it would be really helpful to place a few candles around the dance floor, so everyone could see me better. So here I was, in 'performance' mode, music playing, ready to perform and I had all these things that were NOT supposed to be there, on the dance floor.

1. a hot seat for 'Uncle Bob'
2. and open flames at ankle level


Yikes.......to be cont.