Friday, August 26, 2011
The Beginning......The Formative Years-Love and Marriage
My childhood was rich and vibrant. I feel like such an incredibly lucky person to have grown up in the family I have. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't perfect, I have not by any means lived a charmed life. My family has a lot of skeletons in our closet, some forcefully shoved in there by yours truly, but those life experiences make life richer too. What is that old saying? 'What doesn't kill, you makes you stronger.'? Not that I have actually had things happen that threatened my life, just altered my perspectives, tremendously.
Obviously, to protect those I love, I cannot actually let the skeletons out, but I can tell you how I have learned and grown from my experiences.
So to start with, lets talk about my parents. My mother and Father met well over 50 years ago. As the story goes, it was the wee hours of the morning, mom had just finished up at her job as a cocktail waitress at one of the posh nightclubs in downtown Chicago and was walking down the street in search of a cab. My dad, being a young and randy lad of 21 had just finished up a night of hustling the unwary out of their money at the local pool hall. Dad was also wandering along the quiet early morning streets in search of a cab. My mom swears when they both waved down a lone cab at the same time, that she thought he was out to mug her, but dad had other thoughts entirely....'what in the world was this beautiful young woman doing out on the streets at this hour?'. So in thickly accented, broken English my German Gentleman of a dad, offered up the lone cab to my mom and opened the door for her, planning to continue walking till he found another (highly unlikely at 3 AM). My mom, upon approaching the cab, got her first good look at the gentlemanly young man and thought him so young and sweet, she decided to share the cab. So began a whirlwind courtship that lasted only a few months before they married and have since spent 50 years in wedded 'bliss' (though the courtship has truly never ended).
So what did I learn from my parents? My mom is no shrinking violet and my dad is a hard headed and 'olde world' manly man. Their 50 yrs of marriage has been full of clashes and thrills not really very 'blissful', as my mom says they have a truly passionate relationship....they fight passionately and they make up passionately...(.lol...TMI right?) I thought so too as a kid, but as I grew older I longed for that same type of relationship.
I learned that a good marriage is about compromise, passion, love, friendship and equality (even if you have to fight for it). Nothing is perfect and if you expect perfection, you will only be let down and give up. Though my parents lives together have been far from perfect, they truly do love each other and they fight for what they love. How can I do any less?