Have you ever had one of those moments in life where you look back at all that you have done, and all that you are doing....and realize it is just not enough? Not enough fun, not enough memories, not enough good deeds. You realize that you have just been 'living'. You get up, eat, work, spend a little time with the family, eat some more, sleep and then start all over the next day. No real fulfillment, no real excitement...you just kind of exist.
When I was 23 yrs old I had one of those moments. I was sitting on an examination table in a doctors office, holding my husbands hand. Before me stood a doctor who had just two weeks before Biopsied a mole from my lower chest. With a somber look in his eyes he told me I had Malignant Melanoma and I needed to go to a hospital and have it removed and have my Lymph Nodes tested...and that if it had Metastasized they had a bed waiting for me in North Carolina at a Cancer Research Center, where they could 'try' to help rid my body of this cancer.I am not really sure how far modern medicine has changed since that fateful day, but back then if you had MM you had one option, excision of the lesion, Chemo and Radiation had no effect on it. So here I was, a 23 yr old wife and mother of two small children, having barely lived my life yet, and I was looking death in the face. That was my moment, the eye opener that made me take a look at how I was living my life and realize I wasn't truly happy. I was content, I could have kept going on the way I was, but I wanted so much more!
Thankfully, after my surgery and my tests, and many months of regular check-ups with my Oncologist, I was given a clean bill of health. Though my tumor had been quite large and I will carry the scars of its removal forever, it had not Metastasized and I was safe.
Since that day, I have had a new outlook on life. I want to be the best that I can be, I am always reaching for the Golden Hoop and trying to share my joy in life with everyone I can. Granted, I have my low moments, life isn't all sunshine and rainbows, but my outlook on life and the way I handle the pitfalls has altered as well. Things don't always turn out the way I want them to, but life is an adventure...and I will live it to the fullest!
I now take time to enjoy the little things....the taste of snow flakes melting on my tongue, the budding of new leaves in the spring, the sharp bite of a cold wind, the laughter of my little boy and the warm bear hugs of my husband.
To me Happiness is life, in all its glory and all its pain. No matter where I am or what I am doing, I will always pursue my experiences to the fullest.
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