Dancing for the love of it..........

There are many times in my life when I wonder why I am doing what I do.  The stress of being self employed and not having a regular weekly paycheck, that money that I can depend upon to keep my electricity on and a roof over my head, can sometimes seem overwhelming.

I got my first job at the age of fourteen, working part time for a professional photographer. I was enrolled in a homeschooling program that allowed me to make my own schedule and correspond with my teachers through the mail. So having a job in the mornings every weekday was no hardship on my education. The photographer I worked for owned his own business. We traveled to day care centers throughout the state of Florida and did 'Pony Portraits'. I took my job seriously and did everything that was expected of me and went above and beyond my responsibilities.  I worked for that Pony Portrait company for over 5 years, by the time I left I was a full fledged photographer myself and was what they called a crew chief. At 19 years old, I had a lot more going on in my life than most 19 years old do.

That first job taught me a lot about self esteem, accomplishment and reliability. Since then, I have NEVER been unemployed. I am one of those people who likes to find a place in life and set down roots. I don't like change, I don't like moving. Don't get me wrong, I AM adaptable, but would prefer to avoid change if I can help it.

So back to why I do what I do. There was a very smart person who once told me, "If you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life," basically what he meant was, if you love your job, it isn't work, it's doing what you love to do. I have had a lot of jobs that I have LOVED to do, I can attest to those wise words. Sometimes it's hard to find just what fits your personality, sometimes people have such adaptive personalities that just about anything will fit. I am very lucky to be pretty darn adaptive. What I need most from my job is a sense of accomplishment.  I like my work to be challenging, to push me to the limits, whether it is physically, mentally or artistically or all three. I also like people, I love meeting new people, making friends and helping others.

I currently have two aspects to my self employed 'job'. I teach dance and I perform. I have also started a new aspect which is to be an event organizer.

I have found such joy as a teacher. Granted, there are always troublesome or bothersome students to deal with. Sometimes there are conflicting personalities. Sometimes there are those whom think they already know everything or at least are unwilling to hear any suggestions or criticisms offered by the teacher....which makes me wonder why they even bother taking a class. All in all though, teaching can be a very fulfilling and rewarding job. Watching a new student accomplish a new movement or connect to their body in a new way. Seeing the joy on a student's face as she moves around the classroom performing a choreography she created herself after months of study and dedication, or watching a student perform improv for the first time to the applause and cheers of her classmates. I feel each of their accomplishments as if they were my own. I love to dance and I love to share the exhilaration and joy of dance with others.

Performing is by far my most favorite thing to do. Who wouldn't like to dress up in jewels and silks and be the center of attention at special events? LOL....okay, so maybe LOTS of people would NOT want to be the center of attention, but I do. I feel so free and feminine when I dance. To me it is the embodiment of who I am. I dance just simply for the love of the dance. The music speaks to me and I express how it makes me feel through the movement of my body. At the heart of the dance, the most important thing to me, is that the dancer is the music, that dance is emotion in motion. It is not about dancing by numbers, or perfecting a choreography, it is about dancing "in the moment".  When a person performs with abandon and feeling, it transcends the ordinary and becomes extraordinary, and that is when the audience is truly captured and enraptured by the performance.My goal as a performer is to be that dancer.

I have found that job that isn't a job, that special something that makes it 'not working', but boy is it a lot of work. Sometimes it can be really thankless too. I never truly have a day off, I don't get year end bonuses, or paid vacations.  Perhaps with a lot of hard work and dedication there will come a day when I can depend on a regular income from doing what I love, but until that time, I will just smile and accept my spot with pride and joy as a member of the Starving Artists from around the world. I will teach and perform and dance....for the love of it!